Quotes - oder: You are fucked!

We made new friends yesterday at our local pub... Barry, Dez, Kevin and Alan :-)

Barry: Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.
me: Who said that?
Barry: I just did!
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me: You're weird.
Alan: I'm Irish!
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Barry: You know what we're going to do? We're going to recreate World War 2! But with music! We're going to invade the world with music!
me: I like that!
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me: I like that - everyone here has a nickname!
Kevin: Really? Who am I?
me: Hairy man!
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Barry: When a hairy man kisses you, you know you have been kissed!
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Jure: What is your name?
Barry: I told you ten minutes ago!
Jure: I forgot...
Barry: My name is Hector Gonzales!
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Barry: We are friends now. You are fucked! You really are! I may call you one day and say Piccadilly, please, I have no money, no place to stay. What will you say then? Oh shit! I'm fucked!
me: Actually I would say: Not a problem, I have a spare room!
Alan: Cool!
***
me: You know what I do with friends I don't like anymore? I get rid of them!
Barry *getting up from his chair*: Really??
me: Yeah, but I wouldn't get rid of you, because you're very tall and I'll be scared.
He laughed and huged me.
***
Alan: Whatcha aye?
me: I'm sorry?
Alan: Whatcha aye?
me: What what?
Dez: Alan, she's not irish or drunk! Talk normal!
Alan: I'm sorry... What's your age?
Chris: You never ask a woman about her age!
***
All seats were taken...
me *with polish accent*: Sit on my lap!
Barry *with polish accent as well*: No, I won't sit on your lap, I would break it!
me *with polish accent, still*: DANCE on my lap! Dance for me! And then I want to drink your blood!
***
me: She took the pen! That bitch!
Alan: You would run over your best friend for a man!?
me: Never!
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Barry: You're drunk!
me: No I'm not! I'm... tipsy!
Barry: Someone should get us a whiskey!
Alan: Here, have some of mine!
me: Thank you!
Barry: See, we're friends now and that's what friends do. Helping out each other.
***
Alan: You have a british accent. Why do you have a british accent?
me: You don't want to know...
Alan: Actually, I want to know!
me *telling him why I have a british accent*
Alan: It's strange to meet non-english people with this accent. It's like you're british!
me: Don't you like me anymore?
Alan: Oh no, we're friends now, I like you anyway!
me *grin*
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repeated line
Barry: We're friends now
***