Bernards poem to his "summer girl": Think of a bee. You are its knees. You waft through me like a summer's breeze. Can I come round on Tuesday please?
*****
Bernard: What is this I'm drinking? It's like a choc ice fell into a bucket of Bleach... Childrens Booze! What's yours?
Fran: Bludge. It's quite good, actually. You don't even have to drink it. You just rub it on your hips and it eats right through to your liver.
*****
*****
Bernard [to Manny]: Right! We are going to this party, because I'm trying to picture the sort of girl who would be interested in you, and all I can see is you. In a dress!
*****
Fran: Can't you just call her up and say 'I really enjoyed talking to you last night and I'd like to see you again'?
Manny [giggling nervously]: Don't be stupid! I don't want her to think I'm gay!
*****
Fran: Look Bernard, look at my new phone! Look, look, look, look, look! It's got web access, it's got a camera, it can do everything...
Bernard: Daaggh! Can it stop boring conversations?
Fran: No, no phone can do that.
Bernard: Mine can.
[Bernard picks up his phone receiver and speaks into it]
Bernard: Shut up about your phone!!
*****
Bernard: Hanley! Hanley, come out you blood sucker!
[the door opens]
Solicitor: Miss Hanley is dead.
Bernard: Eh?
Solicitor: She died in the night.
Bernard: I don't care... I mean, how awful.
*****
Bernard: You know I don't approve of you seeing other girls... people!
*****
Manny: ...there is a girl.
Bernard: a WHAT?!
*****
*****
I ♥ Bernard Black
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